Featured below are the nutritional components of the pizza bagels I heralded last blog, for those interested.
Some of you may have read about my ambitions for grad school and landing an MBA. Well, on the 17th of this month I'm scheduled to write the GMAT. This standardized test will help determine my eligibility for most MBA programs. The one I want requires a 550 (out of 800), but I hope to do better than that for scholarship purposes, since I cannot afford the tuition as it stands now.
Last year I bought a big thick GMAT prep 'n' study book, which includes a ton of test examples and detailed explanations of said examples, as well as six practice tests. Now, the real GMAT is a computer adaptive test so the practice tests in the book aren't designed in the same way, but I'll be taking them for skill-building purposes. I'll be tracking my progress on this blog: exciting, I know!
There's an essay writing component that I can't mark myself, but I can mark the other components.
So yeah, wish me luck; hope my scores improve!
~ February 8th
TOTAL SCALED SCORE: 591
Breakdown (Correct/Incorrect): Problem Solving-Data Sufficiency: 33/11; Verbal: 45/15
~ February 10 & 11
TOTAL SCALED SCORE: 640
Breakdown (Correct/Incorrect): PS-DS: 26/11; Verbal: 29/12
~ February 11
TOTAL SCALED SCORE: 591 (lol)
Breakdown (Correct/Incorrect): PS-DS: 34/15 Verbal: 45/14
~ February 12
TOTAL SCALED SCORE: 629
Breakdown (Correct/Incorrect): PS-DS: 37/10 Verbal: 47/14
~ February 13
TOTAL SCALED SCORE: 662
Breakdown (Correct/Incorrect): PS-DS: 38/9 Verbal: 51/10
Pizza Bagel Nutrition (for ~2 halves):
1g fat (0.2 trans-fat)
PEPPERONI (8 slices)
9g fat (3.5 trans-fat)
0.5g fat (0 trans-fat)
5g fat (3.0 trans-fat)
15.5 g fat (6.7 trans-fat)
And I leave you with mouth-watering deliciousness:
Yup. A bag of bagels, some pizza sauce, pepperoni and super stretchy mozzarella.
Pop these suckers into the oven for 10 minutes on 350 and you've got an amazing meal. Cheap too, and healthy.
Credit goes to my girlfriend, who had the idea first and demanded I give her props and plugged her blog.
Do it, it's an amazing experience. I was a big fan of premade frozen pizzas, but hell: good times.
As I may have mentioned last blog, this is my last semester in the ol' undergraduate degree. Following that, I have to figure out what I am going to do with my life. Fortunately, I have a Plan A.
Dalhousie, my university, has started an new MBA (Masters of Business Administration) programme. They had an old one, but this new one is super revamped and unique to the WORLD or some shit. They call it a "Corporate Residency" MBA, which means for 8 months out of the 2 years I'll be employed full time by one of the program's corporate partners or affiliates. This is longer and more intensive than a typical co-op program, and there's a high likelihood that the company that "hires" me on in those 8 months will become my career company. After the 8-months the company and the uni work with you to plan your elective courses so that you tune your skills precisely. Interesting stuff.
However in this first year they're only accepting 50 people worldwide into the program. Also it costs $38,000 for two years. You're expected to make about $30,000 over the 8 month period though, but you still have pay a lump sum, I think.
Luckily I have an advantage in being a DAL student already, and I am healthily past their minimum GPA requirements. All I have to do is knock the GMAT out of the park and I should be at least highly considered. The program starts in JULY, which is weird, but still gives me time to make it to Montreal in June (fingers crossed).
http://www.dalmba.com/ <--- This is the program's site, if for any reason you are bored enough to want to know more.
Plan B is like, applying to normal MBAs at the other universities. Pleh.
IN OTHER NEWS: I now have a flash to my name, thanks to the adventurous LaughingTomato, who flash-ified the 2008 NG BBS Awards. Check it out:
------- 2008 NG BBS Awards - Flash -------
It also nabbed Daily 5th, so now I even have a trophy to my name. Much thanks to LT for the crediting and subsequent award getting - it makes having done all that endless tallying totally worth it! :D
Yeah those rule things were getting kinda dusty, 'specially after I effectively take a six month sabbatical. Of course I'll still refer to the ones that still apply!
Time to clear the blogslate for 2009.
So how about Hotel California? Air guitar city, for me at least.
"Relax," said the nightman, "we are programmed to receive... you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
Uh, what else. I'm rusty at this. Graduating in April. And then an MBA costs $38,000 for two years. Christ.
Christmas Break is kinda dull. Hoping to get out and do something social tomorrow night. Meanwhile I'm either working or chilling on the BBS. Come entertain me on AIM please; I usually never log on but over the break I'll be on a lot, at least up until Christmas.
Also Lauren rulz.
THIS POST IS (always) UNDER CONSTRUCTION
~ Maybe if I put this part first, it'll sink a little better:
~Where'd all my other blogs go?! ... They're still there. Table of contents at the bottom + full explanation.
2089 = First entry, in case you suck at navigating.
On a fun note, I've deleted probably 100 comments made for this news post.
~ Only comments by other mods on their policies or opinions will be accepted. Non-mods are welcome to talk about this news post on my first entry, via PM or here.) (Reiteration).
Since you can edit these news posts, I'm going to stick a list of all the phrases that I'm currently sticking a 3-7 day ban on. Chances are other mods are doing it too.
Hateful language. This will be judged subjectively, unless you'd favour certain words to be bannable regardless of context. For more details/discussion: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/91 0794
-Telling people to delete their system32: This is a little more serious than the bastardism where you tell someone Ctrl+W fixes shit. Though I am of the opinion that if you blindly do what strangers on the internet do tell you to do, then you deserve what you get. However, the types that get fooled by this are likely stupid little kids, and the computer that gets wrecked due to the action is probably not theirs that they purchased themselves. Now you can argue that the owner should be responsible for keeping their machine safe from idiots/kids/computer illiterates, but that's stretching it a bit; you can't possibly know under what conditions the gullible victim accessed the computer. SO, just... don't do it. Stick to more harmless trickeries if you REALLY feel the need to be a cackling internet prankster.
-[Adjective] [Noun] is [Adjective] posts. E.g. "Old thread is old." See: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/83 5091
-Links to myminicity. Or any kind of site that relies on people clicking your link in order for you to boost your stats on that particular site. It just begs for spam and misleading links.
Clone posting: Basically copying someone else's post exactly, in hopes of starting a large chain of these replies. [http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/8 10794]
Rape her (or any variant thereof): 7 days minimum. [http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/5 67730]
Do a barrel roll: 3-day minimum.
lol (and nothing else): auto 3 days.
Links to Rick Roll (either directly or related): 7 day minimum.
You should have grabbed _____ cock : 3 day minimum.
Reposting a given image in a PhotoShop thread, followed by some statement that says: "I made it _____": 3 day minimum. [http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/4 97755]
Nested quotes: 1-3 days. [http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/6 30336].
"I/we don't care" (or any variant thereof, including obvious sarcasm; e.g. "I care"): 3 days. TLDR posts are a close cousin to this one and will also get you 3 days.
FAIL pics or statements: 3 days.
"Pics or it didn't happen.": 3 days.
Some people tend to get all riled up when mods make a new thread announcing NEW RULES. They see it as just more things that us crazy "power" drunk asshats randomly decide that the users can't do.
Well as it turns out, a lot of these "new" rules are just the creation of a new bannable post. The only way posts become bannable is when the population of the BBS decides that it's trendy to post these things, whenever possible. They're often kind of funny at first, and a lot of them do indeed die off on their own. However, some do catch on, and it's our job as your BBS mods to prevent them from becoming an epidemic. If we allowed the phrases to run rampant, 50% of all posts would be someone spamming 'em. It's a pretty simple process.
These are MY policies. They do not completely reflect the attitude of any other mod or the team as whole. Different mods, different attitudes. However I am certain that the team as whole would judge these policies as being within reason.
Deleting and Locking stuff:
When I'm in modding mode, I am attracted to brand new topics, or topics with very little posts. I go into these topics and make the major decisions based on the very first , opening post. Things will get deleted if they violate the ol' golden rule: Before posting a topic, please ask yourself the following question: "Am I making a post which is either funny, informative, or interesting on some level?" If you can answer "yes" to this, then please post. If you cannot, then refrain.
Now I don't filter crap out based on if it is interesting to me. I filter it based on whether or not it is interesting to ANYONE. Now you might make the argument that technically, out of everyone everywhere, you'll find a person who is interested in [insert topic here]. But, I base it on how topical the subject is. How much actual discussion will occur in the next hour. If I can reasonably predict that the next 6 posts will be a mix of one-line attempts at wit, irrelevant spam and flames, then BAM it's gone. This topic here is full of examples.
I will usually lock if a topic is larger, and the reason for halting discussion needs to be explained. Sometimes I wont be entirely clear in my lock message, as I assume it's fairly obvious. Of course you can PM me if you need clarification. Why not just delete these threads? Well sometimes they actually have a bit of substance in 'em. Two or three nice posts that don't deserve to be deleted, or something like that.
Threads I will lock/delete 99% of the time:
-iSketch threads: With this new topic http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/86 4127 the need for them or bumping old ones is nil. Not that there was ever a need for making them after the first 100 or so were made, but now it's all packaged nicely.
-Threads about '08 users or any other user "group." This one's something that I started doing recently. I don't think I'll publicize it, except for here. Mostly because no one really cares. No one will miss these threads; all that goes on in them is pissing, whining, not caring, and a few posts pissing and whining about the pissing and whining. SO. I'm just deleting them on sight, regardless of how big they get (I do look through 'em to make sure there isn't any massive piles of comedic gold getting destroyed in the process; none so far). Dunno if any other mods are deleting these, but I don't think it's something that needs a lot of discussion.
- This-or-that topics. Otherwise known as a "forced choice" topic. The OP (Original Poster) asks a question and gives you some options. It's essentially a poll, and there's no discussion to be easily had, and if someone tries to start up a discussion, they have to rely on someone else catching on to it and furthering it. And then these two have to maintain the discussion amid 25 "this!" or "that!" posts. Too sloppy, too spammy.
- Topics about: Runescape or eBaumsWorld. It's some sort of unwritten rule that to be part of the NG community that you have hate these sites. This is partly due to the bandwagoning of ranting and bitching about them. So now, unless the topic has some serious discussion and rationale for being about the listed sites, they'll just be removed without hesitation because they are simply flamebait.
- Topics about an image that you found online.
- Stat topics. These are just not allowed. You might even get slapped with a ban. Stats include everything from sign up date and post count to sticker orders and # of favourite flash. If you want to discuss stats, do it here: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/33 159
- Relationship topics. Anything to do with your romantic life, your inability to attract a mate, your issues with your significant other... unless it is rivetingly original and has some solid credibility, post it HERE: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/18 0360.
- Topics about religion. It seems every cynical nerd feels they have to strongly voice the same ol' shit over and over and over and over and over. Trolls love to overplay devil's advocate, and the people who are at peace with their religion or lack thereof grind their teeth. Unless your topic about religion is somehow a revelation (which it wont be), just... don't post it.
- Topics that ask for or display lists. If you've seen me around on the BBS, you've probably seen me lock many a topic with the message: "Lists do not make for good topics" or something like that. Well, it's true. They don't. If you want to list things, do it on your userpage. Simple.
- Favourite _____ topics. mightypotato there reminded me of this one ages ago and I've just sort of neglected to "officially" list here. Oops. Threads that ask you state your favourite [_____] are generally disallowed since they're a close cousin to list and this-or-that topics. It should be noted that few of the posters will be encouraged to spruce up their posts if you tag on an "and why?" to your request. Also, some of the most popular 'favourites' can be edited to be displayed in your profile (such as bands, books, movies).
- Image galleries, including user images.
- Console topics. Why? Because they breed console wars, almost EVERY, SINGLE, TIME. It gets embarassing just watching them. Full details: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/75 2103
- Role playing threads. You know, the one's where it's like: HEY WE'RE ALL AT PARTY WHO BROUGHT THE DIP. Sometimes these have pictures that you are encouraged to edit. These can be fun, but they also can be horribly spammy. I often tend to just kill 'em while they're young, but depending on the originality, I have been known to let them survive for a day or two before finally "ending the party." I believe that the boards need a good silly thread every now and again... the reason for locking/deleting most of them is so they don't get out of hand.
- Obscure picture threads. A strange title, or half of a quote, complete with a topic body that completes the strange title or half-quote... and a picture. Or sometimes not even a picture. Either way, these are "silly threads." See above.
- Threads requesting: signatures, profile pictures, banner headings. There are crews in the C&C forum that are designed to facilitate artists and requesters alike. Search "makers" in the searchbar to find some.
- Threads asking you to rate something. For sigs and profile pictures and host of other things, there are crews for it. Search "raters" for some. If it's something more obscure, put it in your userpage. Asking people to rate something (typically it is on some sort of predetermined scale) is just another poll thread. Asking for people's opinions on an issue, however, is not.
-Story threads. See mass discussion/controversy here: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/74 9603
- Forum game threads. These kind of threads have a very hard time operating on a forum the size and speed of General. Typically, these threads depend on some chronological order. In other words, Poster A comments on the OP's post, Poster B comments on Poster A, and so forth. In no time at all you get 5 people responding to the first post, 3 to the second, and the OP reposts in vain, telling everyone that they're not following the rules. However, if you come up with an idea that avoids the spam issue, you can try it out. Tooting my own horn for an example, here's a forum game that managed to work out: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/35 2244
- Video threads. Oh hooo, the big one. Here's the deal. If you link a video, I'm locking it. UNLESS, something catches my eye about your post that accompanies the link. If the post is too short to make a paragraph or two, then chances are I'm not even going to consider it. If you've laid out, in a civil and well-thought out manner, the reasons why you feel this video should get a topic, then I'll have a look. However, there are stipulations. Lets go over some:
~~~ First, YouTube has a comment section. So, if your topic does nothing but extend the comment section of YouTube to NG, forget it. What NG users have to say about a video will not massively differ from what YouTube users have to say.
~~~ You're linking from a site that doesn't have a comment section? One: Are you SURE? Yes? Did you see if the video's on YouTube? Or another site that does have a comment section? You did check? Really? No you didn't, you lazy fuck, don't lie. Okay, let's hypothetically say that your link is the one unique link to this video in all the internet. If I can reasonably predict that the comments generated upon watching a video will not provide any insight to anything, then forget it.
~~~ Now if you MADE the video, it's a whole different story. If yout put something together for a project or out of interest, by all means show us. You're part of our community, and a video of you is a rare chance to get a good look at you. Now, if your clip is an 8 second video of you pointing the camera at you while you make funny noises and a shitfaced friend giggles in the background... well, that's just shit. The video must be interesting.
~~~ If your video supplements a discussion, then it may be allowed. Do not attempt to generate a discussion AROUND THE VIDEO. That's NOT the point. Example: If you're really interested about how butterflies hatch or something and you happen to have a video if it, you might be able to get away with it. The thing about this stipulation is that the folks who will abide by this rule are the folks who typically don't need to have it explained to them. It's not hard to tell when someone wants to make a video thread and sort of tries to spruce it up with some halfassed discussion. Here's a tip: if you're not sure how go about supplementing a discussion with a video, make the first post video-free. Allow for some discussion. If none happens, then maybe your discussion was crappy. If it flourishes, THEN post the video link. Then it's not a video thread! Yay!
~~~ Finally, if a video is concerning something that's popular in the media (mainstream here, not your strange underground band's release of their 56th album), and you happen to be the lucky sucker who gets wind of it first, go ahead and post it. Like, if Osama bin Laden was videotaped hangliding away from a US Tank, and it was real, and on CNN, and there was a big deal about it... yes, go ahead. But you're probably not the first. Use the searchbar first; it works now.
Other mods, feel free to add to the "bannable posts" list. Just comment ( I have it set for needs-approval). If you have questions about the content of this news post, you can address them via PM, on my 1st news post, or in the thread about THIS news post (http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/7 88696)
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/69 7885 (NGBBS Houserules).
(The link http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/53 5663 in the houserules thread is now obsolete due to the more recent decision to move all story threads to userpages).
THIS POST IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION.
No more personal blogs on this account. I've made another account for that. I won't advertise it, but I wont keep it a secret either. So I've put this "official business" post back on my main account blog page thing for ease of access.
Montreal Meet Blog Part 1/2
Montreal Meet Blog Part 2/2
Every topic I've ever made.
My long lost flash.
Sydney White and the 5 beers.
My vacation blog!
First Bannable blah blah
Zerok Q & A
This blog is about my adventures during the 2008 NG Montreal Meetup, which took place from March 20th to March 24th. I have divided this blog into four chapters:
CHAPTER 1: FOREPLAY
CHAPTER 2: FULL-ON X-RATED SHAGADELIC FUCKFEST & CLIMAX
CHAPTER 3: THE BEAUTIFUL AFTERGLOW
CHAPTER 4: THE NEXT MORNING (& FINDING OUT ABOUT THE STD).
I've sub-divided each of those chapters into sub-chapters such as:
Rhythmatic pumping, deep breathing. and
Blissful cuddling, echoes of orgasm manifesting in shudders and sighs.
Going further, I've divided those sub-chapters into various headlines that describe major events, such as:
[WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE IF THE WHOLE BBS SHOWED UP]
[DRUNK GROUP ABDUCTS LARGE ORANGE PHALLIC SYMBOL]
If these intrigue you, then read on. HOWEVER, I warn you that this is going to be one long motherfucking post, because, well, a lot of stuff happened and I want to do the trip justice. In fact, it spans TWO blog posts. If you've just randomly stumbled across my blog and had no idea that this even happened then you might want to save this read for when you've got some time. If you don't care, then I don't care either. If you went to the meet (or wished you had) then hopefully this blog will be both informative and entertaining. Also, I'm only going to use usernames because while most people are probably cool with their real names being used, some may not be, and I don't feel like asking them and/or making it obvious by not using their name while using other's. So without further ado, we begin our sexy story:
(Oh wait, there's some ado. The thread that started it all!)
= = = = = =
###### CHAPTER ONE: FOREPLAY ######
## Part I: Warming Up... ##
[NO ONE SIMPLY WALKS INTO MO- ... NTREAL]
Well, not if you're coming from Nova Scotia and want to do it quick. Hence we (TropicalParadise (aka Lauren) and I) opted for a plane. It left early.
When midnight rolled around I was supposed to be sleeping, getting a few hours of rest in before the 3:10am alarms went off. But I didn't. Some may remember me posting in the meet-up thread, declaring my quasi-insomnia. Was it nerves? Just the occasional bout of sleeplessness I'm afflicted with every now and again? Either way, I was on the plane before you knew it, my mind not dealing with the fact that we were about to meet up with a bunch of strangers. Strangers, from the internet. From Newgrounds.
[SUDDENLY IT'S ALL TOO REAL!]
The first thing we had to do after deplaning was walk the lengths of 600 football fields to get to the "arrivals" section of the airport. We stopped halfway to fuel up on an apple strudel. After that, we called FBIPolux, whose aunt had agreed to drive us to his place.
The FBI-mobile arrived and FBI's face greeted us from the passenger window, where he launched into some undecipherable hand gestures. The car pulled up to the curb some 20 feet away so I assumed we were to get in; we were. After about 20 minutes into the drive we realized that his aunt had a dog on her lap. Yep.
FBI's aunt drove us to his modest but nice apartment, where we set up camp and revelled in the actuality of our proximity: "hey, you're from the internet..." Since the main meet-up day of partying was set for Friday, and Thursday was more of a "people arriving" day, there were no grand plans. So we just sort of sat around thumb-twiddling for an hour or so. Eventually FBI got a hold of SNIPER and we had a plan and a destination.
[ENDURANCE TEST CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS "TOUR"]
We began to walk. And walk. And walk. First, from FBI's house to the metro (subway station), a 15 minute walk that we would make many more times in the near future. We purchased a week-long metro pass, which turned out to be a fabulous idea, and rode to where we planned to meet SNIPER. We were early, so we walked a bit more around downtown. Went we went back, there he was. Internet-people met +1.
Together, SNIPER and FBI gave us a tour of the underground city, which is essentially a massive complex of underground malls. There were a lot of stores, and the term "underground city" isn't much of a misnomer. I had my first (and only, now that I think about it) Montreal poutine (delicious) in one of the many food-courts. Then we broke the surface and wandered all around the heart of city on foot, crossing through China Town, Old Montreal, the docks... all of which were covered in the grey, charmless dreary coat of a big city in the wintertime. They assured us it was fabulous any other time of the year, and we believed them (Halifax is the same way). All told, we walked... a lot. For about, five hours or so, before arriving back at FBI's for a brief interlude before we went out for dinner.
[COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO BE IDIOTS TOGETHER]
Right before we got back to his place though, we stopped at an IGA to procure breakfast items so that we wouldn't be constantly spending money on eating out. I found that we wanted more things than my arms could carry so I grabbed the first cart I found. As it turned out, it was a "kiddie"-cart that came up to my kneecap or so, and had this giant pole with a plastic flag attached to it, presumably so you could see the bloody thing coming at you if it happened to be piloted by a pint sized shopper. FBI slapped a NG sticker on it and we got many a strange look as I steered the thing around by its pole.
[MALE-FEMALE RATIO BREIFLY HITS 3:2!!!]
At this point I was getting quite tired; you may recall I hadn't slept yet. I was ready to forgo dinner in favour of falling asleep, but obviously no one would have that. We loaded up on booze and SNIPER made some "killer-Koolaid" (secret recipe) that was quite yummy and alcoholy.
DancingTurkeyGod aka DTG got in touch with SNIPER and he told her to go to the metro by FBI's place, only to later decide that we'd go out now, rendering her journey useless. Oops. We walked again (3rd time) to the metro and met DTG there. I had 3 new internet-friends now, and was grateful for the one-at-time nature that they were appearing. That tendency was shattered at our destination, when EyeLovePoozy, Afro-Ninja, and poxpower arrived. Though it disrupted the pattern (and the ratio), their combined sexiness was enough to make up for it. And then to top it all off, Evark appeared after successfully navigating the metro.
## Part II: Pre-Ejaculate ##
[THE "FIRST SUPPER"]
Our little troop then followed the locals to St. Hubert's, a family-restaurant type chicken-house, where we sent the staff into a small frenzy by asking for a place for nine. Dinner commenced, and so did the multitude of picture-taking. Nothing intense besides great conversation and laughter took place, though Poozy did insult some lady for not moving when he wanted more room to take a group picture, and the waiter forgot SNIPER's pop. Oh, and Lauren had her first legal Canadian drink. I introduced Evark and Poozy to Alexander Keiths (they liked it, or faked it well). As things were wrapping up Dez showed up unexpectedly, and bam! we were a group of ten.
(Oh, and my Chicken Wing Challenge began that night. To explain briefly, my current co-workers (I work at a health-conscious juice bar) find it undyingly amusing that I love chicken wings. They wondered if I was going to eat a lot of them in Montreal. I said yes, they told me to keep track. I ordered only eight, due to lack of hunger and lack of funds).
[NERDS ATTEMPT NON-VIDEO RELATED GAMES!]
After this I was expecting to go home and sleep, but understandably everyone else wanted to find fun. Fuckers (<3). At this point I was just sort of on auto-pilot, my body assuming it was just going have to do without sleep until something vital shut down so I gladly followed everyone out into the cold, bitter night. For more walking! It was all good though, the walk allowed for some more interesting conversation and sightseeing.
Once at the place I played some pool, which I started off okay at then progressively got more and more horrible... the four of us (Evark, Dez, Lauren and I) were playing team 8-ball games that were lasting an embarrassingly long amount of time. Then on to bowling, which I did even worse at, scoring about a 42 over ten frames, not a single mark either. I choose to blame it on my tiredness and the fact that I never played with big ass bowling balls before. Thankfully nobody disowned me. Other people did well, I know Evark broke 100, and Afro-Ninja, after a shaky start, killed us all at like... 130? All I can say for sure is that I sucked.
Finally it was time to call it a night, at least for Lauren, FBI, Dez and I, since the metro was closing soon and we lived far away. More walking (which for me had started to resemble zombie-walking) and metroing, then I was on FBI's floor with an air mattress, pillow and blanket.
After 38 hours of being awake, I dropped into a dreamless slumber.
= = = = = =
# CHAPTER TWO: FULL-ON X-RATED SHAGADELIC FUCKFEST & CLIMAX #
## Part III: Rhythmic pumping, deep breathing. ##
[SAMUEL L. JACKSON & CO. ENTERTAIN]
I got up around 10, feeling a lot better after getting even 9 hours of sleep into me. FBI was much more reluctant to get out of bed, and Lauren and I were showered and eating toaster strudels before he crawled out, ready to start the day.
poxpower had made reservations at a place for 5:30, so we had a chunk of time in which there were no plans. Between the three of us we agreed to watch Pulp Fiction (as FBI and I are fans and Lauren hadn't seen it before) when Evark called us up demanding we do something more social. After some on-the-fly planning and scheming, we settled on watching Pulp Fiction... at DTG's house! On a projector screen! Evark kindly picked us up and I vandalized his brother's (MuyBurrito)sketchbook as payment. At DTG's we found that pox, Afro and Poozy were already there. SNIPER also got there, but I forget when or how. So we all clambered up to the projector screen and after some technical fiddling we got Pulp Fiction rolling.
Sometime during the film Jonas and Warrickneff appeared. We essentially shunned them until the movie was abruptly ended right as 'The Bonnie Situation' segment of the movie was getting underway. The computer controlling the DVD player refused to cooperate so we were forced to socialize. There were some rough games of air-hockey, some beer drinking, chip munching, etc.
[HILTON FAMILY UNKNOWINGLY HOSTS SEXIEST MEETUP EVER]
Then someone decided it was time to get moving, so we decided to go to Afro's hotel and get him checked in. FBI, pox and Poozy went in Jonas' car to go do something that I forget (insert your own homoerotic fantasy here) and the rest of us went to the DoubleTree by Hilton, a nice 4-star place that would soon become the unofficial nexus and HQ for the rest of the meetup.
In the lobby we found Luis, MRat and Pako. Introductions were passed around and we decided to go see Luis' room and hang out there for a while before the big party started. We watched some TV and some of us signed the giant 5XL t-shirt that Luis got from bob, especially for the meetup's sake. Luis said that we were going to donate it to the office afterwards.
## Part IV: Arching back, clenching fists.
[WAITRESS PAYS OFF STUDENT LOANS WITH NG-TIP MONEY]
So then we were off! We arrived at 'Le 3 Brasseurs' (The 3 Brewers) and this time the staff were prepared, thanks to pox's reservations for 25 people. So we sat, and it was happy hour, so we also drank. At this point people started arriving in small clusters. First there was Rig, then Vegeton appeared, then Malachy showed up, then Jonas' car gang came, then ShitOnAStick arrived... NegativeONE, AsthmaticHamster, Dez (again)... and probably more. I was on one end of the table so the other end was a bit of a hazy mystery for me. I had 16 chicken wings (total: 24) and a bunch of reduced-price beer. At the end of happy-hour I ordered two more pints, prompted on pox's casual bet that I couldn't finish them (I didn't, but if I had I'd've been puking). It didn't go to waste though, Evark and pox happily eliminated my last one for me.
What other amusing things occurred at dinner? Dez kept hitting her head on the light fixture, Poozy and Afro popped their poutine cherries (Afro's was caught on tape), the waitress started speaking to Poozy in rapid-fire French about an order misunderstanding for a good five seconds while he sat there helplessly... until pox calmly informed her that he spoke English. Peanuts were everywhere, Rig explained in laymen's terms how PS3/360 sound people fit all the sound in a game in to 20MB, uhh and there was a pay-a-dollar breathalyzer which told me I was 100%-okay even though my head was swimming and I was getting all warm and silly.
[20+ PEOPLE LOSE 20+ DIFFERENT VIRGINITIES]
Thereafter we went to an actual bar, called Brutopia. We flooded downstairs and soon took over a large corner where the alcohol started to flow more freely. This event is probably better remembered via the mass amount of pictures and in point form:
- Many stickers got applied to many body parts.
- I discovered "chocolate beer."
- Malachy lost his engagement ring.
- FBI pretended to find it, I pretended to attack him for being an ass and beer was spilled. =(
- I think this is when SOAS gave me a fork.
- Lauren found the engagement ring.
- Evark bought me a long-promised beer.
- We started sitting on each other's laps.
- We started touching each other. A lot.
- Poozy bought us all a round of shots. <3
- More to come? (As people comment and remind me).
## Part V: Lonnng, breath-halting, pulsating orgasm. ##
[DRUNK GROUP ABDUCTS LARGE ORANGE PHALLIC SYMBOL]
Then we left the bar, en route for the Hilton. But before we got to the metro SOAS happened upon a giant road cone/pylon, and NG meetup history was made.
Pako and I started carrying the cone with us, and somehow as a mobile, drunk group we decided we had to "take it with us." Several of us took turns carrying the giant thing to the metro: up and over the little toll station, where the lady on duty went berserk, pressing button and what we assume was calling some sort of authority.
The subway arrived quickly, before any authorities could respond. There was a tense moment when the doors felt like they were taking too long to close, and we thought they had stopped the train. But no, they closed, and we were off. There are many pictures. Encouraged by our victory we decided to take it one step further and get the thing into the hotel. Boldly, the group barrelled in, right past the front desk, two people carrying a filthy, orange and white cone to the elevators. Bam, we were in. Up we go, and right to Afro's room. At that point I think we put some stickers on it and took a few victory pictures, then went to Luis' room two storeys up.
[THERE ARE PICS; IT DID HAPPEN]
There were a chunk of people who got stuck in the elevator and experienced a 15-minute mini drama. I was not one of them so I don't know what REALLY happened. Apparently they figured it was because of the cone (it wasn't, or at least no one ever said it was), and apparently some tempers became strained. MYSTERY.
So yeah, we're in Luis' room now, and everyone's everywhere, penises are getting drawn on people, there's booze and snacks and Afro-Ninja stickers strewn everywhere, I think someone started puking at one point... then Jonas tried to set up the 360 and the living room TV wouldn't cooperate, so we tried switching it out for the bedroom one... and by this time Luis was beginning to realize that his security deposit was in danger, along with whatever insurance against fees that come along with a party-trashed room. So he kicked most of us out, and we trickled down to Afro's room.
This is when things started getting hot 'n' heavy, with 6-7 person pileups in the bed, and on the couch... the cone even got in on some of it. I remember massages being handed out and cuddling with Rig. Stickers were getting reapplied to body parts and to various surfaces in the room (it was probably a very wise decision on Luis' part to boot us out). Beer was in the fridge, we were jumping and poking and tickling and the camera missed a sexy Lauren and Dez kiss by about 2 seconds (bloody charging flash!) Merry was made but eventually people started to become more sluggish. Eventually they dropped away to sleep or to other destinations. I got lucky enough to score the pull out couch with pox and Lauren, Warrickneff and Rig got the floor, and the bed was occupied by... Evark, Dez, SOAS and Afro-Ninja and possibly someone else (the cone is a prime suspect). Poor Poozy got locked out of a gone-to-bed-relatively-early Luis room, and spent most of the night just sitting awake in Afro's room I think. Oh, before I went to bed I stole people's footwear; I hid Evan's in two places. Then sleep.
= = = = = =
###### CHAPTER THREE: THE BEAUTIFUL AFTERGLOW ######
## Part VI: Laborious panting, frozen in place. ##
[NAVIGATING MONTREAL BASED ON FAITH ALONE]
We woke up. In my bed and in my immediate area, were Newgrounders. EyeLovePoozy was sitting there, awake. Rig stirred. Evan popped up. Surreal.
As consciousness settled, we began to assemble our belonging and make plans. But first, Evan needed his shoes. Since stealing and hiding them was primarily for the amusement of doing it and not actually making him look for them, I told him where I put them. He found the first one just fine, but then the second was NOT where I had put it. Uh oh. I joined in the search, looking earnestly, but we couldn't seem to find it. I felt sorta bad.
FBI had disappeared along with a few others in the wee hours of the morn', but Lauren and I were intent on not spending money on breakfast. Our toaster strudels were still plentiful, and all our toiletries were at his house. We invited Warrickneff to accompany us on the journey back to FBI's, since his plan was, well... he didn't have one.
I went to use the washroom before I left, and looked in the washroom cupboards in hopes of finding Evan's shoe. Lo and behold, it was actually there, in the bottom right-hand drawer, stuffed behind a hand towel. What. The. Fuck. Whoever did that: you wily bastard you! Evan was pleased, and then he left (for home!), and I never saw him again. The trip was not over for me yet, no way. The three of us left, found a metro station and we were off, with only a vague idea of how to get back to FBI's. Warrickneff put his faith completely in us: he of course had never even been there.
Unexcitingly, we did just fine, without getting lost even once. There were enough landmarks and we knew the street names even though we couldn't properly pronounce them. A boxer-clad and horribly tired FBI answered out knock and we were in, we ate, we cleaned up, and it was time to start the day.
[BIODOME (PAULY SHORE SOLD SEPERATELY)]
We had heard rumours about the famed Montreal BioDome, which is essentially a big ol' zoo but with partitioned sections that contain wildly different ecosystems. Lauren wished to go, and I thought it was damn good idea. So we called up a few folks (Afro and SNIPER, I remember) and made plans to meet there with as many remaining folks as possible.
Using the POWER OF THE INTERNET, I found out which metro station we needed, and we were off again (without FBI, he was too tired). Warrickneff bought a Subway sub on the way, and he ordered what I usually get (with some different veggies). He tried ordering in French because he knows a bit but had to give up eventually and revert to English. I still commend him for trying though.
Er, anyway, we got to the right place and found SNIPER, who told us Afro & Co. had already reached the BioDome, and that he was waiting for DTG. We left him there to wait and we went to find the Afro group, which was about 8 strong. We got to the BioDome, and walked past a line-up that was probably... 250 people long? It was huge. It wrapped around the whole damn building and seemed to stretch on forever. We found the guys at the cafeteria; they had given up on the BioDome idea after seeing the massive size of the line. I must admit, we were disheartened by it as well. Lauren would not be swayed though. Since they hadn't even tried to test the line's speed, they couldn't know for sure how fast it was moving. So Lauren and I decided to stand in line while Warrickneff went to the front to ask someone how long they had been waiting. Turns out the line was like, a 15 minute wait. We moved along quite fast. Soon the Afro group either handed us money for tickets or stealthily cut in line. DTG and SNIPER also arrived, and before long, we were in.
There was all sorts of cool stuff, but I wont waste a lot of time blabbing about the zoo; there are tons of pictures that I'll link to. First we took a group pictures or two, then we went to Rainforest Land, saw some wicked monkeys and crazy super-parrots. Then we went to Canadian Wilderness land, which was pretty boring. There were some beavers, and that may have been where the bats were. The bats were sweet. Then onto Underwater Land, which was insane, with 6-foot fish and ducks of all sorts of breeds diving for food. Then it was Antarctic Land, where penguins and puffins entertained endlessly.
[WANDERING AROUND A GIANT CLOSED MALL ISN'T SO FUN AFTER ALL]
It was time to leave. DTG had booked a timeslot at a laser tag place, but it was hours until then. Malachy left for home at this time, and the rest of us headed for the Eaton Centre via metro. In fact, this is same area of the underground city where I had eaten the poutine. We went to the same food court and found a table and got some food.
There was a particularly funny incident where we sighted a fellow who looked very much like FBI across the way. For a long time we debated whether or not it was actually him (it wasn't), and we started trying to discreetly take pictures of him. Finally, Jonas simply got up and walked over to the bewildered guy. Apparently he did not get permission to take a picture as the fellow didn't speak English. Whatever, guy. Still, we cracked up a lot.
Food was finished and there was still oodles of time to kill so we agreed to meet back in one place after 45 minutes after branching into smaller groups. The plan was to browse the mall... one problem: it was closed. Well, 90% closed. Apparently on the weekends the shopping centres close at 5pm. The only open spots were the food places. After about 15 minutes Lauren and I gave up and went to the meeting place to wait for 30 minutes. There was a candy store that was open so she went there and bought some stuff. Pop Rocks are wicked.
## Part VII: Rolling off, sweat film breaks with sucking sound. ##
[WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE IF THE WHOLE BBS SHOWED UP]
It was time for laser tag. We went to LazerQuest and walked up the short entryway staircase to find a massive crowd of 14 year old French kids, some awkwardly older people, and stressed parents. It was a frenzy. It was claustrophobic. Thankfully, a game started, or ended, or something, and the crowded melted away, leaving mostly just the meetup crew. Dez reappeared, and BillofBob, a Montrealer I never got to officially meet, showed up, and possibly some others that I didn't know. We were over the number of people that DTG reserved spots for, but they people were accommodating. We signed up, got usernames (some used NG usernames, and there were some amusing "typos") and waited. Luis consulted a toy machine and stocked up on many rubber bouncy balls, and handed them out. They were for throwing at little kids. Yup.
It was time! We marched into the briefing room, accompanied by a roughly equal group of strangers, most of which were little boys (analogous to the BBS). We were randomly divided into teams, Red vs Green (I was Red), and then set loose in the giant three-storey maze.
First, I stuck with Dez. We manoeuvred around total-SWAT style, covering each other, using quick hand motions... only problem was we couldn't find a soul for like 10 minutes. It's only fun to pretend to be SWAT when you get bunker up and fire at people, so we dropped the routine out of exasperation and eventually got separated. Then I found people! And they kicked my ass. I was dying constantly it seemed, and it was almost always in a head-to-head encounter: my opponents were just better at hitting the small targets than I was.
My luck did change though. I bumped into DTG around 2/3s of the way through the game and we found some excellent cover on a mid-level area. From that vantage point we had a good angle on a huge cluster of Greens up on the high-level. I got crouched in a corner and would pick off two before the enemy lasers would converge on my position, at which point I'd simply pop back around the corner. A few times some Greens tried to nail me through a hole in the wall that looked down on the lower-level but I managed to hit them first every time that happened. So between DTG and I's combined fire we eventually drove the nest of Greens out of their spot. Later I found out EyeLovePoozy was using an area just below us to do essentially the same thing: we had been providing him cover as well. Go us!
Suddenly, game over. We were all sweaty and we all had big grins. Apparently several little munchkins got beaned by bouncy balls, and to top it off Red won! I placed 16th overall, which is about middle of the road. Rig and NegativeONE got second and third I think, and some crazy guy with a kilt took the gold. He was on Red, and he's probably why we won. The cool Montreal air felt wonderful as we set off in search of a bar.
[THE GREAT DIVIDE & RETIRING THE CONE]
There was a bit of indecision outside LazerQuest as we compared score sheets, found out who killed who and tried to decide which way to walk. Someone took the initiative and we moved around until we ended up at... Brutopia? Several of us weren't keen on going to the same place twice since Montreal has like, a billion bars and, well, you don't travel X amount of miles to do the same stuff everyday!
So Brutopia was scrapped, and we were afflicted with another bout of indecision. This time the group actually split into two, with a chunk of 10 or so heading to a hookah bar and the rest evidently heading for the Hilton. Lauren and I initially tagged along with the hookah group because FBI was with 'em and he was who we needed to get back to his place... but then Lauren felt it would be a better idea to go back to the hotel, so we diverted and found the nearest metro station, and met the hotel group at the Hilton. We went to Afro's room and soberly regarded the cone, figuring he might get in shit for leaving the thing in there when it came time to check out. So we carried the thing into the stairwell and left it there to stand sentry one storey down.
We had some fridge-beer then set off on foot to find a place to either drink or eat or both. We passed several places and were running out of options when I found that a restaurant called Pizzadelic sold chicken wings (they had their menu posted outside). No one had any reason to object, so in we went.
# Part VIII: Blissful cuddling, echoes of orgasm manifesting in shudders & sighs #
[DOUBLE OR NOTHING ON THE CHICKEN WING CHALLENGE]
The place was nice, and practically empty. There were about 9 of us, and we got a seat immediately, unlike at St. Hubert's. At this point I had eaten only 24 wings, so I ordered a plate of 24 to double up the count. They didn't have any flavour options so I ordered whatever their one flavour was. Turns out they were mildly spicy. I like spicy, but it's a lot harder to wolf down 24 spicy wings than it is to eat 24 honey-garlic ones. But I managed, and the total now stood at 48.
Arbitrary observations: Lauren ordered 16 wings. Afro got a burger which turned out to be more lettuce than anything. NegativeONE got a rum and coke served in what looked like a thimble. More pictures got taken.
As we were finishing the hookah group showed up, and we were one group again! Lauren didn't finish her wings and offered some to others. I think pox got one... and he ended up ordering some himself. Remember this.
The first group was done eating, and we weren't keen to stay and drink there. DTG had mentioned that there was a cider bar and we were interested in trying something different. So the 9 of use set off again, the other group agreed to follow when they were finished. We walked for a short while until we happened upon a bar called YER MAD. It had a really neat sign that Lauren and I had noticed on our first day.
[UNTOLD LITRES OF CIDER ARE DEMOLISHED]
Yer Mad wasn't especially classy: it was kind of dark and cramped. We moved into a corner and consulted the cider menu. DTG recommended a drink called Kir Breton, which was cider mixed with some sort of fruit juice. We ordered a few litres, and when the liquid touched my tongue I forgot entirely about the subpar surroundings. It was apple juice! Apple juice that had a bunch of tasteless alcohol in it!
Soon the other group arrived, and a few more litres had been ordered. Some freaks ordered beer and drank that, but the majority of us binged on cider. Lauren drank a lot. She never gets drunk, but she was the drunkest I'd ever seen her that night. Many pictures were taken, again. Some hilarious poses for .gifs were discovered. Jonas busted out a sketchpad and some artists got to work filling it up. It was a damned good time.
But all good times must end. And when we left the bar, it was time for some of the Montrealers to say goodbye for good. There were drunken hugs and heartfelt goodbyes. Poxpower began to leave to the metro when someone pointed he had not been hugged. Four of us (myself included) decided this would not do, and rushed the fellow as he stood in the middle of the street for a massive pox-hug. Sadly, hilariously, he was holding his take-home container of unfinished wings from Pizzadelic when we attacked him, and the container opened when he was enveloped. Wings flew onto the street, pox cries "MY WINGS!" and throws the container at us, then runs away. We felt terrible and laughed our asses off simultaneously. Sorry pox. Next meet I'm sure the perpetrators will be more than happy to buy you a plate of wings. =D
[SECOND ORGY ATTEMPTED, CONAN O'BRIEN WATCHED INSTEAD]
The remainder of us returned to the Hilton (I went to Afro's room, others went to Luis'), where the pull-out bed was immediately engaged and we started to get cozy. The TV got turned on and we basically chilled there and watched Conan until our eyelids closed. At one point MRat brought us some teriyaki chicken he prepared up in Luis' room, which was sweet.
I was wedged between FBI and Lauren, poor Rig got the floor again. Or at least that's where he was in the morning. I forget who was in the bed. It was a hazy night's end.
(Fun fact: 11 characters remaining in previous blog, yikes.)
# CHAPTER FOUR: THE NEXT MORNING (& FINDING OUT ABOUT THE STD) #
## Part IX: Kiss on the forehead, get dressed to leave ##
[THE BEGINNING OF THE END]
We awoke, strangely sweaty and mildly hungover. I remember Rig's face dawning at the edge of the bed and being surprised by it. The TV came on again, and this time we watched a lot of infomercials for various knives and cynically critiqued them and infomercials as a whole. It was fun. There was also a kid's show about like, "supernatural" things. And every "host" had this strange tendency to shift their eyebrows around to accentuate whatever they were saying. Now, part of me thinks that this actually happened the night before, and part of me thinks it was in the morning. But I remember criticizing it from the table, and I was on the floor criticizing in the morning. So this is probably a little out of place, SO SUE ME.
Them came time to clean up the small disaster area that was Afro's room. The biggest issue was the plethora of stickers that were hidden like Easter eggs all around, but we got most of them off without a hitch. When it was all finished, we assumed it was time for the ultimate goodbye and prepared to leave for FBI's to pack, but EyeLovePoozy and the folks in Luis' room suggested we go out for one last meal.
As we left, Luis' came down with a quart of Jagermeister, saying that it had been left in his room and he didn't want to leave it there. It was Evark's, who was long gone at that point, so I naturally assumed Evark had left it for me to take with me. I relieved Luis of the burden and stowed the bottle away. <3
[EYELOVEPOOZY BECOMES DEMIGOD]
Close to the hotel and to the metro was a lunch buffet that we had seen earlier. No one had any objections, so we piled in, again in a group of 9 or 10. It was a cheap buffet, and the pickings were slim in variety but sufficient in taste. There we like 8 trays of things and a salad bar. To my delight: chicken wings! I had 10, bringing me up to a final count of 58. There was also pizza, potato wedges, spaghetti and fettuccini, lasagna, that sort of stuff.
We ate, we got up and went to pay. But "no", says the waitress, "your friend already paid." Turns out Poozy up and paid for all of us. Totally unexpected! Everyone was quite thrilled and grateful. Don't forget he also bought everyone shots in Brutopia and I believe he paid for the pool time at SHARKX. Poozy: You rock, thank you very much, the poor student I am is in your debt.
The waitress took a few group pictures, and we walked out. It was time.
Outside, we shook hands and traded hugs. The group was about to split again, and permanently. It was funny, however, because a lot of us said goodbye earnestly then we realized that 80% of us were actually heading to the same metro together. So we did the awkward walk-together-after-saying-goodbye thing to the station. A musician played music down the long hallway to the booths, it would have been perfect if the music had been sad.
Turns out Lauren, FBI and I were to get on one side of the tracks while Afro, Rig, NegativeONE and Poozy were to get on the other. Their subway came first and whisked them off. Then we went to FBI's. Once there I packed up after showering as Lauren desperately finished some homework she had put off. Then I got some groceries to make sandwiches with, as we were soon facing a 22 hour + train ride.
All prepared, we walked out to a bus stop with FBI. We thanked him heartily for his hospitality, said goodbye, and he went home... it was over. It was just Lauren and I. The rest of this blog is about our journey home; the meetup story is finished, so if that's what you came for you can stop reading, I guess.
## Part X: Mysterious cough, strange sensation when urinating. ##
[THE JOURNEY HOME]
So yes, the coughing. Before we left FBI's Lauren noted she felt a strange tickling in her throat. As she mentioned it, I realized I was feeling it too. Uh oh. So I bought some Buckley's cough syrup from the drugstore before catching the bus: it turned out to be a wise move.
We caught the 99 and successfully bussed to the metro station, and successfully took the metro to Grand Central Station. Both of us are now confident we could use the Montreal metro with ease now; we got tons of practise over the four days. At GCS, we poked into McDonalds and waited to board our train. It was delayed, but we made it on. Our coughs were getting worse. Out throats were getting sore. It was official: we were SICK.
It wasn't too surprising, in retrospect. The whole time we'd been eating badly (lotsa chicken wings, potato products), consuming alcohol, and getting poor sleep, all things that suppress immune system function. On top of that we were constantly touching and rolling around with a bunch of people, a germophobe's nightmare. I don't think liljim will be able to fix this NG bug.
The train was alright. Our seats were accommodating, though the attendant wished to convert them into the bed-form ASAP. While she did we went further up the train and watched the movie August Rush: it was good. The bed was tiny but wide enough for us both. Unfortunately our sleep was troubled: we were sick, the train was noisy and there was a bawling baby a seat or two down. Next time: earplugs. The rocking motion of the train was actually helping me get to sleep until all the other shit came around.
The next day was "blarg." Lauren was fairly miserable, being trapped on the train with no internet and being sick and tired. I had a book to read and I don't mind the long train ride so I'd say my spirits were a bit higher, though the sickness was irritating. Thank goodness for the Buckley's. We arrived in Halifax over 2 hours late (which means a travel voucher worth 50% of our Montreal-Halifax ride towards the next train ride we take, yay) and bussed back to Lauren's apartment, where we got clean and started enjoying what pictures had made it to the internet.
= = = = = =
###### EPILOGUE ######
## Part XI: "Meh, I'd do it again." ##
In a nutshell: Fucking awesome.
It was so cool to meet you guys. I mean, for one who has never done it before it would seem odd: a bunch of internet people... but once we all got together it was just like we were all friends who knew each other in spite of the fact that it was the first time we'd ever met. We acted like any "normal" group: a baseball team, high school friends, what have you.
The fun we had was brilliant. So many good memories, many of which I likely missed here but will be reminded of later, like Warrickneff telling us how Jonas thought he'd be a girl when he picked him up... hehhehe.
I will be sure to try my damnedest to make the next meetup. If it's around the same time next year hopefully I'll have some more flexible funds. A warmer meetup would be sweet but if it's cold Montreal again I'm all for it. I'd also love to host a Halifax meet but I dunno if it would have the same pull, since Montreal is sort of a running tradition; this year just happened to attract a lot of participants for some reason. We'll talk, we'll talk.
I hope whoever you are, you enjoyed reading this blog as much as I enjoyed writing it. Feel free to comment and point out mistakes, especially if you were at the meet and I got details wrong.
AS TOLD BY LUIS... SORT OF. HE HASN'T UPDATED IT FROM SPAIN-ESE, OR ADDED ANYTHING... LOTS OF PICTURES OF POX, SORT OF ANDY WARHOL STYLE... IF YOU'RE INTO THAT... THIS LINK IS GETTING LONG, I'LL STOP NOW.
Ever since making this topic I've been meaning to do all this. I've added some timeline headers for a rough look at how things progressed. After the list, I've put my commentary, such as 'how long this took' etc. So if you comment asking a question I've answered already I'm either going to ignore it or reply with "moron."
Some in-list commentary denoted by square brackets: [e.g.]
18 years old.
152728 - Profile Suggestions
166001 - Sleep Paralysis
167332 - Best Minesweeper times?
167670 - You may or may not have seen this.
167716 - Long story about chestnuts & love.
171979 - Dalhousie University.
175965 - Who would win in a fight...?
178637 - I wont draw you!
180454 - I'm hungover at school, on Saturday.
180685 - Just One Away... & I've been denied.
183186 - Rant: Sex Appeal in NG flash.
184437 - That nefarious abbreviation: Lol.
185917 - Country Music...
186325 - The pinkies got pwned.
186355 - The Translator Game.
186927 - Yay! My laptop came!
187526 - Social Experiments.
187733 - What if...?
187779 - Favourite Solo?
188355 - Look behind you!
188376 - Science Fiction Becomes Reality?
188558 - Tech N9ne: Best Rapper Ever.
188605 - Aussie Band: Killing Heidi
188866 - Game: Picture Pieces.
189356 - A question thread!
189415 - That tricky mofo: Glass.
189604 - Rice Pudding.
190270 - The HMCS Chicoutimi Disaster.
191508 - Pseudosciences!
191572 - Happy November!
191943 - New NG Thinger: Anti-Quotes
192257 - The most dangerous levels.
192946 - Cold Liquids.
193615 - Are you a cheap drunk?
194580 - Do your teeth chatter?
195136 - What's it mean to you?
195652 - I'm not usually a rat...
195838 - First Snowfall!
196031 - My turn at making sigs!
197223 - Dirty Washrooms.
197620 - Check this:
198170 - Hot tubs.
199417 - Java Question: Scrambling Arrays. [wtf programming]
199939 - George Bush is coming to my city.
200002 - Oatcakes are way underrated. [Tried to get ID 200000 here, fuckin' Ron.]
201110 - Hide your liquor!
201258 - Gooch and I had a baby.
202461 - Bums do not make good Entrepreneurs
202636 - Taking the Internet Seriously.
202873 - French + Rap = Funniest Thing. Ever.
204340 - Granola Bars.
206824 - NG BBS Year End Awards: Discussion
207580 - Downloading Taste.
209267 - Holy time capsule.
209871 - Hey look! A different Numa Numa!
211354 - Computer oddness. Explain, anyone?
211376 - Shrapnel.
215297 - How do you view the Media?
215988 - One hour in the back of a cop car.
217734 - Another Chess Tournament / Club?
217820 - <x> Newgrounds BBS Chess Club <X>
218523 - My Dad went insane.
220528 - No fat chicks?
225051 - Brace yourselves for tomorrow...
225526 - Let's get personal.
226459 - Give me ideas.
227589 - I really do love all of you.
228796 - I got assaulted by a hedgehog.
229525 - Victory
230349 - A story of utter failure!
231053 - Be my Valentine. Now.
232564 - Hooray for random luck!
236571 - I broke my ass sledding.
237708 - Twenty Four
238508 - I will analyze you, in depth.
239059 - God damn physics question:
239216 - Colt 45s are such good value.
241025 - O'er the land of the free...!*
241978 - Two posters, one computer. [BEFORE 2g1c!]
245995 - White Russians.
247645 - I actually made a photoshop topic.
248259 - My five year anniversary gift.
252073 - The Pope died. So what?
252889 - I need ideas for a movie!
253129 - File not found.
254802 - Excuse me.
255455 - New audio from -Gooch- and I.
255488 - Envy my Caterpillar!
255832 - Are you superior?
257299 - The Weekly Top Five!
259678 - School is out & my hair is short!
260419 - How addicted to NG am I?
261478 - Absolute, impending peril.
261731 - My Roadtrip to Ontario!
19 years old.
267428 - Bromwell High.
275111 - Tough decision.
276829 - This look fishy to you?
280352 - Good timing, Junebugs!
280637 - Goodnight, the truth has come out.
281517 - Do any of y'all fancy red wine?
281555 - Ron, you disgust me.
285232 - They're attaching to my brain cells
286388 - Sex & Drugs.
286585 - MTV movie awards: 2005
286650 - Coming out of the closet...
290144 - Italian Splendor.
296715 - But what about Michelle Branch?
299000 - What's the deal with random?
306548 - Apparently hockey's back.
308389 - You have to admit, it was good try.
311785 - So, doing drugs ins't cool?
312183 - I want you in the worst kind of way
318510 - Beat this!
341428 - Healthy in Paranoid Times.
341862 - Bigger picture dimension limits?
341869 - My friend fractured his spine.
346396 - World Class Perfume = Whale Puke.
352244 - The Song/artist analogy game!
353781 - Flightplan.
354745 - Going to court tomorrow.
356129 - Alexander Keith's 210th B-day!
360217 - Am I quitting my job?
362675 - Bazzmann's not welcome here no more.
364378 - Mini-dv (video) Camera For Sale!
364809 - Pacing while you're on the phone?
370627 - Would animal activists get upset if
373403 - Best midterm ever!
373485 - Hey, come watch a movie with me.
376041 - Ha ha! I'm using the internet!
384538 - My boyfriend is from the Matrix.
385062 - Are you a bus person?
388840 - Squad up like Apple Jacks!
393392 - If you had a third eye...
394462 - Ron!
394496 - Does inebriation impair typing skil
394536 - Teen Girl Squad.
395960 - 2005 NG BBS Awards - Nominations.
400843 - The strip club scene
401856 - Santa is a sellout.
405018 - A casino story.
407753 - Comp wont stop playing sexy music.
408124 - The summer of twenty ought five...
411899 - Pupil gets busted looking at hentai
413054 - The most posts, ever (?)
413708 - 2005 NG BBS Awards: Final Results.
415436 - Warning: Very Long Post.
416445 - I always get snagged on shit.
416987 - Skating with Celebrities.
425826 - A true Canadian Entrepreneur.
429538 - Smile more often.
432458 - Eating Disorders.
433975 - New Radiogrounds look!
434820 - My monitor exploded.
437137 - Busted!
438748 - Beer plus nachos.
439496 - My cousin's drunken analogy.
439837 - An internet adventure.
441462 - Are you a frelk?
441581 - Longest you've listened to a loop?
442854 - Any advice on siphoning gas?
443210 - I am the party star!
455418 - My Royal Flush.
456607 - Hooray for old lady!
462409 - Women: more attracted to fat guys.
465963 - I am so incredibly lucky!
467538 - Faith in Humanity: Restored.
467654 - Girl Problems.
470164 - Jets Overhead
471225 - Walking to the Arctic and butter.
472567 - I'm just joking!
475974 - Clothes fresh out of the dryer.
477210 - When beer is at my disposal...
477255 - At least you're more mature...
20 years old
479073 - Join me on this adventure >:)
479570 - When you make threads...
482719 - Forty is special.
484779 - Best. Concert. Ever.
485518 - The shit's going to hit the fan.
487411 - I can feel 2007 coming.
488530 - If Jesus was here right now...
493336 - If I gave my life to you guys...
494627 - Elementaty, son, but it's soul.
494650 - Carlos.
505153 - Odd word substitutions.
515109 - A car smashed into my bus.
517394 - "Don't use the washroom, get out!"
517841 - -NightCrawler- is an old man.
518435 - "Turn down the A/C!"
520598 - In order to calm Nikole down...
521896 - Shamrock VS Ortiz
527436 - last.fm <-- Get it. Now.
527871 - A refresher for everyone! [1st mod thread]
530862 - Measuring sleepiness?
535663 - New Story Rule. =O
537664 - July is falling down.
541512 - Uncontrollable smile engaged.
546995 - Strawberries and a Field of Orchids.
557503 - I wonder what would happen...
560347 - Anyone here named Ariel Martin?
564306 - Happy Birthday Lauren!
567913 - A point in laziness.
573242 - Buckley's cough syrup.
576569 - Guide to Bumping Topics.
580829 - Have any of you ever used BIOYIOP..
583494 - Hard Candy.
584973 - Such simple technology!
587723 - What sort of text would you be?
587742 - Guide: what is and what isn't spam?
589639 - Two dollars for a litre of water?!
596881 - Show Newgrounds your Jack-o-latern
604668 - Solving a world crisis: Microcredit
616845 - We've adopted!
625520 - Holy Lost in Translation!
627580 - Merry Christmas from ___
629375 - Ice Cubes.
637600 - Help me with research!
637801 - These will blow your mind.
643302 - Help me with research! (Again).
645127 - Today was a No School day.
647256 - The most CPUs you accesed NG from?
648224 - Regarding the BBS' 'stupidity.'
648779 - The Jack Bauer Power Hour (24 Club)
648786 - The PoxNora Game.
656278 - So I quit math!
659848 - Newgrounds Scavenger Hunt!
665729 - True evil in society.O_O
666761 - Redesign gags.
670377 - My girlfriend kicked my ass.
675407 - Phone, cell and wireless mouse.
677756 - Know what's classy?
680021 - Warning: April Fools Bullshit.
684197 - That' 70's Show & Friends.
684974 - I'm surrounded by aussie mods.
685823 - Vitamin C overdose?
686764 - Hey, wait a minute...
690377 - Flaming arrows at camp!
697010 - A word to the wise...
713979 - My sudden plunge into browser games
717105 - I've always loved Chef Boyardee.
717812 - The truth finally comes out.
718837 - Christ, chlorine stinks.
718871 - Archive of Bad Topics.
737825 - Userpage uses!
744385 - Does anyone still like Shaggy?
746532 - Tandem parasailing!
752103 - Console threads and console wars.
752716 - Untrue Confession
755037 - Why users rarely change things here
757923 - A NG browser based game?
758772 - "Your name" etc. topics.
772004 - Birthday Happies @ TropicalParadise
779630 - Major League Gaming (MLG)
788696 - New Rules! Ahahahaha
799176 - Drug cocktail, anyone?
802980 - Woo, I just killed that midterm!
803974 - Boo! It's Halloween! ('07)
807921 - Hypothetical NG service
808636 - Once I eat one clementine...
809690 - Hypothetical NG service V2
810794 - "Clone" posting.
811018 - Pre-redesign icon application?
811306 - Chocolate Smoothie Nirvana
811643 - The Hunter's Lullaby
819102 - Birthday shoutout to Evark
826370 - Links to Myminicity...
829132 - Locked myself out of my room, naked
849342 - A concept bigger than infinity. (?)
852972 - New! Diamond Shreddies Cereal
853790 - Pointless BBS Observation.
860228 - Valentines Day Thread Consolidation
867490 - We should have a portal for every-
867723 - Advertising the AP to local papers?
867839 - When buying toilet paper...
870655 - Things you've accidentally washed.
871529 - Crazy article: Mind affects matter?
874535 - A proposal, BlueHippo.
Stats [March 9th]:
290 Total, adjusted for topics that are not included because they were posted in SECRET LAND.
As of March 9/08 I've been posting for 1323 days, which makes my topics per day:
0.219 or one topic every 4.562 days.
First: Holy fuck. If you had asked me how many topics I had made over the past 4 years I'd've underestimated by a vast degree.
I've kept the topics in ID format for two reasons: One, to save on character space. Two, to discourage idiots from easy bumping. If I see old topics of mine resurfacing for no real reason then the bumpers will get banned.
How long did this take to do? Well, certain mod features cut down on the time it takes to do this... I didn't have to look at every single one of my posts, just the post pages. Still, there were 726 of them. It averaged to about an hour per 100 pages, but that's only because I'd often take a trip down memory lane and read through old topics for quite some time before resuming the project. I did this over the span of the past week, keeping the topics listed in a text file. It's funny because I'm willing to bet that liljim could type in a few lines of code and get the database to reproduce this list in like, 4 seconds. Oh well.
The early topics are fun to look at. Some are embarrassingly noobish and/or unsuccessful. You can see how much of a boozer I was... there's like 10-12 topics about alcohol. A good chunk of the topics were made whilst drinking. My topic-posting rate also declined as my tenure increased.
WHY did I do this? Partly out of curiosity. Partly because I like archiving shit. Partly because I wanted to see how long it would take.
My friend Adam uncovered this gem when he was searching through his old 'received files'.
I was toying around with frame by frame animation. Obviously I got tired of it at one point. As Adam says, it leaves it open for a sequel! He submitted it under his account. Though some of you valiantly fived it, it did not survive: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
Interesting reviews though. I have created this news post so it can receive the attention it deserves (or that I want it to deserve >_>). It's been uploaded here: http://www.ngup.net/view?file=752
It might be the 1.25 litres of beer in me.
But the movie Sydney White (Amanda Bynes (Bines?)) is AWESOME.
Clever analogy, heartfelt, sweet, quite funny... an all around good time. If only college life was so stereotypical and malleable at the same time. Oh well. If you're a nerd that means you'll relate and like it. =D